BIG IDEA

Humility keeps your anger constructive.

MESSAGE NOTES:

WHAT: 

The past couple of weeks we’ve been in a series about our emotions—or the vibe inside. The “vibe inside” is such an accurate description of our internal emotional environments. Emotions are a healthy part of life as experiences. But they’re not healthy when our emotions become our leaders. In other words, you want to experience emotions, not be controlled by them. And one of the emotions that shows up for everyone and tries to take over is anger.

When we see things happening in the world that aren’t right, it’s a good thing to get angry. Jesus  got super angry when people were mistreated…one time he saw money changers taking advantage of people trying to worship God. So Jesus sat down, made a whip, and then he flipped over tables, and used that whip to chase people out. It’s an amazing story of justified anger. You can read that story in John chapter 2. So anger isn’t always bad. In fact, sometimes anger is constructive. It moves us toward positive action. Sometimes anger can be a “constructive frustration” that leads you to good changes.

But then other times, anger is destructive. It hurts people and it causes deep regrets that we have to live with.

SO WHAT:

Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. James 3:12-16.

What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? James 4:1.

What actually causes the anger, the arguments, or the fight? It’s not them. It’s you. Or more specifically, what’s in you. And this is a big deal, because as long as we think the problem is someone else—their behavior, their character, their mistake—we’ll never deal with the anger problem inside of us.  

We think the problem is people not doing things our way. But James is saying the problem is that we want to get our way. But as long as we think the problem is outside of us, we’ll never take care of what’s inside of us. If we continue to think the problem is them and not me, we’ll never have wise or constructive anger.

Here’s what I want you to really take a hold of today:

Humility keeps your anger constructive.

NOW WHAT:

When we get humble, think about all the good our frustrations can do? 

Frustration or anger with humility could just be constructive passion.

Because now you can approach every frustration or thing that makes you angry with this question: “How can I change first?”

Humility will make you pause, look within, own your part, and then be the change you want to see.

Humility in anger will result in less regrets and less broken relationships.

Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness Philippians 2:6-7.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

Q1: What makes you angry or frustrated?

Q2: What are you not getting, that you want, when you get angry with someone or something?

Q3: How can you change first?

Q4: How can humility make your anger constructive this week?